Song Chi found that his eldest brother had become more reserved than before. Song Yancheng didn't say anything, and no one dared to bother him. However, Song Chi still felt very at ease—which may not have been the same for the other Song relatives. Even if he was weak and was lying in a hospital bed, as long as he was there, it was like being reassured. It made one feel at ease.
When night fell, Song Yancheng was the only one left in the ward. He suddenly opened his eyes, sat up, and looked at the moonlight outside the window. Only then did he spread his hands, burying his face for a long time. He tried to recall the people who had come here today, tried to make these faces pull out memories of the past, but found nothing.
He had woken up and found that he hadn’t known the people around him, nor had he had any memories—he hadn’t even known who he was. But he’d gotten some information from what those people had said and their expressions, so he’d chosen to keep quiet. He didn't know why. Song Yancheng just felt that others should not know of his situation. This sense of vigilance came from deep within himself.
For example, the child who had called him “brother.” Although he hadn’t talked too much to him, Song Yancheng felt that he’d been really relieved when he’d seen that he’d woken up. The child was afraid, and he was extremely dependent on him.
Another example was his secretary, who often came to him for business matters, and who always seemed to take secret glances towards him. Song Yancheng instinctively felt the wall that had been previously set up by his body.
Yes, although he had no memory, he could still feel that the environment which seemed to be calm was full of darkness underneath. It was with such intuition that Song Yancheng decided to wait and observe things quietly.
He asked his secretary to bring him a computer. He turned it on, opened the search page, and entered the words Song Yancheng. Looking at the results, Song Yancheng moved the mouse quietly and finally turned off the web page. His mind seemed to have gained a small portion of its memory back, which was filled with codes and some formulas. He took a deep breath, his slender fingers moved once more, and soon his entire browsing history was completely removed.
Basically, it could be confirmed that what he was doing now was right. With an identity like his, once it was known that he had lost his memory, he didn’t even have to think about how dangerous it would be. Song Yancheng knew that these people who had come to see him were actually very afraid of him, so it would be a good idea to keep this fear of him going. He knew that once he showed signs of weakness, it would be dangerous, even if they were his relatives and friends.
***
Tong Jia noticed the change in Song Chi. Although he did not speak much, he was no longer as gloomy as before and seemed to be more relaxed. Later on, Shen Shujuan told her that Song Yancheng had finally gotten better after getting out of danger, and Tong Jia was very happy. At least Song Chi would not have to face those kinds of pains.
During this time, Tong Jia's disposition slowly settled down. She still occasionally thought of Zhou Yanchen, but she also knew that before long, Zhou Yanchen would also become a memory of the past.
The reason why memories were called memories was that even if you occasionally thought of them, they would not affect the pace of your current progress.
She’d used to be very popular back when she’d been studying. Some former classmates had heard that she was back and often asked her to have dinner together. Tong Jia's life began being plentiful.
After work today, Tong Jia made an appointment with her good friend from before to go to a hot pot restaurant. It was a good choice since hot pot was a people’s favorite, both in summer and winter.
Ye Jiayi put the hot spinach into Tong Jia's bowl and said angrily, “Tell me, has our relationship gone so cold that I have to hear from others that you’ve returned to China? What kind of friendship is this? I’m embarrassed to tell people that I’m the best friend of the school flower.”
“Really, I'm just so busy that I forgot to leave you a message. Sorry, ah…”
This sounded like a perfunctory excuse, but it was true. Tong Jia had gone abroad without staying long after graduating from college. She had an aunt abroad, but she hadn’t lived with her. She’d had to adapt to the new environment, go to a language school, and prepare for the exam. After she had finally adapted to the new environment, she had wanted to reduce the burden on her family and find a job. She had worked for an entire day and had only gone back to the dormitory to fall asleep. She hadn’t had time and energy to strengthen her relationships with her friends.
She and Ye Jiayi hadn’t been in the same class, but their relationship had always been very good and they had often gone to school together. Their friendship was probably one of a kind in this world. They may not contact each other for a year or two, but after they got together, they wouldn’t feel awkward. It was as if they hadn’t been separated at all.
Ye Jiayi's character was very good. She poured half a cup of cold beer to Tong Jia and smiled at her. “If you drink this cup, I will forgive you.”
Time was really amazing. Before her graduation, Tong Jia would immediately spit out the beer after taking a sip, but now she could empty the beer in her cup without changing her face.
"By the way, did you know that the most handsome boy in your class, Zhou, had an accident?" After drinking a few glasses of wine, Ye Jiayi also slowly let out a sigh and thought about it.
Tong Jia was eating beef balls with her head down. She replied in a low voice. She didn't know why, but she seemed to have no appetite.
Ye Jiayi then said, “You know that he liked you, right? I vaguely remember that on Valentine's Day, he came to me, gave me a letter and a box of chocolates, and asked me to give it to you. I deliberately teased him and asked him if he liked you. He didn't answer, but it was really funny that a person who was so aloof could also blush.”
After hearing this, her head was hit by a sudden blow. Tong Jia suddenly looked up and her chopsticks fell on the table.
She asked incredulously, “What? Letters? Chocolate? I didn't receive those!”
Ye Jiayi couldn't understand why Tong Jia was so agitated. She hadn’t known that Zhou Yanchen had still liked Tong Jia until he had died. She’d thought it had just been the feelings of a teenage boy's puppy love.
Ye Jiayi was stunned and said, “You didn't? I also had a date that day and I was in a hurry, so I asked Qin Yue to give them to you.”
Tong Jia stood up. Her mind was a mess.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
Ye Jiayi also stood up. She felt that this was somehow related to the other's secret.
She said seriously, “It didn't take long for you to be with Qin Yue. I thought it was unnecessary to talk about this, so I never brought it up. What's the matter, Tong Jia? Don't scare me.”
...It turned out that Qin Yue had never told her. It turned out that Zhou Yanchen had confessed, but it had never reached her. She finally understood why Zhou Yanchen could have liked her for so many years. He could silently pay attention to her Weibo, but never speak to her. She understood now. How determined had he been to write the letter, a prideful and reticent person like him? It had been his confession, but there had been no response. Soon after, she had gone out with Qin Yue, so he had no longer said anything afterward.
Tong Jia was more than ten minutes away from her residence. She was walking on the road. The autumn evening wind blew, making her feel at ease.
She thought of a lot of things along the way, but it was like spinning in a maze. She couldn't find an exit at all. She was lost in her thoughts until she saw Qin Yue smoking with his head down below her residence.
So what if she had known then? Would she have been with Zhou Yanchen?
She wouldn't have.
Qin Yue was no longer the sunshine boy from the past. He was dressed in a formal suit. She couldn't say how high-spirited or vigorous he was, but his face was faintly tired. They used to know each other very well, but now that they met again, she realized that some things were still the same, but they weren’t.
“You returned?” Qin Yue walked toward Tong Jia and stared at her deeply.
Tong Jia nodded. She wanted to smile at him, but she couldn't smile at all. Finally, she just said, “Well, I've been back for a while.”
“You know that thing?” Qin Yue had a faint smell of tobacco, which didn’t smell very good. Tong Jia subconsciously turned her head. Time had changed so much. The former sunshine boy only existed in her memories now.
If Ye Jiayi hadn't said those things today, Tong Jia certainly wouldn’t have understood what Qin Yue was talking about. Now she suddenly understood and remembered why Qin Yue would perk up every time she didn't talk about how good Zhou Yanchen's grades were. She was the only one who had no idea. Since the beginning, everyone else had already known about Zhou Yanchen’s feelings.
Tong Jia just looked at Qin Yue calmly and didn't say a word. It frustrated the man. This was Tong Jia, the woman who made him love and hate her at the same time. He would rather she scold him and beat him. At least those would be better than looking at him silently.
“It's too late today, so I won't invite you upstairs for coffee. I have a class tomorrow morning, so I’ll go ahead.”
Tong Jia’s fingers were tightly holding the bag as she smiled at him. She just wanted to get past him and go upstairs. But before she could, Qin Yue grabbed her arm. His thin lips were pursed.
“Tong Jia, I love you.” Qin Yue looked at her. “Not less than Zhou Yanchen; more than him.”
“I see. Well then, is there anything else?”
Tong Jia actually wanted to laugh, but she wasn’t a person who liked to argue with others. Since they had different opinions, it would just be a waste of breath to say anything else. Qin Yue didn’t owe her anything, nor did she owe Qin Yue anything. Moreover, they had long broken up. After a few years, any words from Qin Yue would not be taken into account by Tong Jia.
Qin Yue felt as if someone had touched a sore spot. He was no longer calm, expression fierce, “Tong Jia, we didn't break up, did we?”
Tong Jia looked at Qin Yue with a straight face. Yes, she hadn’t said they should break up, and he hadn’t said they should either. They had just stopped contacting each other one day. Qin Yue hadn’t said anything wrong.
It's just…
“Qin Yue, you already have a girlfriend, don't you? I don't want to talk. Seriously, I have a class tomorrow. Bye.”
Tong Jia had received an email during her second year abroad. It had been sent to her by Wan Xiaoyu, a former classmate. There’d been a photo of her kissing Qin Yue. Wan Xiaoyu had also told her that she was already with Qin Yue.
Although Wan Xiaoyu's provocation had seemed quite laughable to Tong Jia, she had replied politely, wishing Wan Xiaoyu and Qin Yue to grow old together.
The author has something to say：
Well... I wanted to write about this kind of feeling. Even if I don't remember you anymore, even if you die, even if you change your identity, I will still only look at you. Well, that's it…