Volume 2: The Tug-of-War Between Heartbeat and Morality
In the week before the final exams, Nie Qingzhou returned to his class and unexpectedly received a warm welcome.
Colorful ribbons and balloons were hung on the blackboard, with large neatly written characters saying "Welcome Nie Qingzhou back to class!" His desk was also piled high with snacks like a small mountain. Nie Qingzhou stood stunned at the doorway with his bag over one shoulder. As soon as Zhang Yukun saw him, he gestured, "1, 2, 3!"
"Welcome back to the class!" The classmates cheered. The usually active ones whistled, while the quieter ones whispered along. It all looked to have been planned in advance.
Hearing the commotion, students from other classes also poked their heads out of the windows to see what was happening in Class 13.
Nie Qingzhou was a bit stunned. He instinctively looked around, quickly assessing the situation—no pink and white balloons, no LOVE banners, no party popper. It seemed like a normal welcoming ceremony.
He breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, "Thank you... thank you..."
Then Zhang Yukun happily ran over to take his bag and pushed him to his single seat desk. Nie Qingzhou looked at the opposite class. Many people there were also looking over, and Xia Yi seemed to be watching this way too. However, the distance was too far to see her expression clearly.
Nie Qingzhou strangely felt a bit embarrassed for some reason. Zhang Yukun made a fuss, "Aiyou, what's going on, Zhou-ge you're so moved that you're blushing!"
"..."
"You don't have to be too moved, these snacks are actually leftovers from the New Year's Eve party. Just happened to give them all to you."
Nie Qingzhou rubbed his temples. It seemed that the ribbons and balloons were also leftovers from New Year's Eve.
This grand welcome ceremony was of course planned by Zhang Yukun and Lai Ning, who pestered the class monitor and went to request their class teacher Old Li for it, and also got the support of the teacher in the morning reading session that day - Chinese teacher Zhang Zihua.
Zhang Yukun justified their actions, asking who in the class hadn't borrowed Zhou-ge's notebooks or practice books at some point. Which top student would be as generous as Zhou-ge? The generous top student was coming back, and they wanted to give him warmth like family.
And so Nie Qingzhou witnessed this grand welcome ceremony.
Just a few months ago, he was the most problematic student in this class, and most of his classmates kept their distance from him. Now, the treatment had completely reversed, which made him feel a bit uncomfortable. Even during his own high school days, he had never received this kind of treatment.
Nie Qingzhou put all the snacks on his desk into the drawer, watching as the Chinese class representative erased the chalk writings from the blackboard. The celebration was short-lived, and the morning reading session began on time. He once again immersed himself in the daily routine of high school life.
High school life was packed to the brim, with every action timed down to the minute. It was an experience that Nie Qingzhou hadn't had since entering society.
In theory, high school days seemed to mechanically repeat, going up and down like Sisyphus pushing a boulder each day. But when he recalled it now, he felt high school was the longest time of his life. The days after that flew by quickly, as if rapidly flipping through a thick stack of calendars, and eight years passed in the blink of an eye.
During his high school days, although he didn't have the daily, monthly, and quarterly goal reports he would have at work, his objectives were clearer than ever. He firmly believed he was on the right path, and believed that as long as he worked hard, he would reach the right outcome. At that time, he believed he could become anyone, do anything, like the omnipotent stem cells described in biology books, eagerly waiting to differentiate into any part of the world.
However, at that time, he hadn't figured out what he wanted to differentiate into. He just had high expectations for the possibilities, but he didn't have any real ideals.
So, he randomly chose a major and ended up working for a state-owned enterprise after graduation. That's how he differentiated into a lung cell or an oral epithelial cell—losing possibilities without even struggling.
He was probably going to be like this cell, working day in and day out, letting time wear away all possibilities. When he was young, adults often said life wasn't easy, just grit your teeth and persevere. They used to say that everything would be fine after the college entrance exams, it'll be fine after getting a job; it'll be fine after getting married; it'll be fine after having children; it'll be fine after the children grow up.
And so he realized that if you don't know how you want to live in this world, life would never get better.
All the greed and dissatisfaction ultimately stemmed from not knowing what he wanted. And so, one would spend his whole life, until the grave, gritting his teeth and haphazardly grasping at the "good things" people talked about, thinking to himself—could this be what I want?
Nie Qingzhou let his thoughts wander aimlessly. Propping his chin in hand, he turned to look at Xia Yi in the opposite classroom, who was reading with her head down.
Sometimes, he envied Xia Yi's determination. She always ignored others' gazes and walked with firm steps.
All rumors had an expiration date. Even the most sensational topics would fade from people's minds within a month.
When Nie Qingzhou returned to school, the gossip about Xia Yi had already been overshadowed by the tense final exam atmosphere and any lingering hostility was also kept at bay by the huge crowd.
The five of them took up an entire four-person table in the cafeteria and even brought an extra chair for the fifth person. Nie Qingzhou sat between Xia Yi and Zheng Peiqi, while Zhang Yukun and Lai Ning sat across from them. In the bustling cafeteria, they formed their own group, chatting lively.
"I got 80 points on the last physics quiz! I took it home to show my mom and she was so happy. She said if I can improve by 100 ranks in the finals, she'll reward me 500 yuan!" Lai Ning said excitedly, overflowing with excitement.
Nie Qingzhou sat across from him wearing a black and red checkered shirt with a black sweater layered on top and a thick winter uniform. Even dressed in layers like this, he still looked suave and lazy.
Resting his elbows on the table, Nie Qingzhou smiled and said, "I think you can aim even higher. Improve by two hundred ranks, get a 1000 yuan reward, and treat us to a meal. What do you say?"
Lai Ning hesitated, a little incredulous. "Two hundred places? It's too difficult..."
"I looked at the test paper you did last time. This week, I'll go over the key points with you again. I've seriously studied the rankings, two hundred places is a conservative estimate." After saying that, Nie Qingzhou looked at Zhang Yukun, who was busy eating, and said to him, "You can also set a goal for yourself to tell your family. I think you can improve by about a hundred and fifty places and treat us to a meal."
Zhang Yukun felt annoyed upon hearing this. "I haven't played basketball or video games all month. I've been studying really hard so how did I improve less than Lai Ning?"
"That's because Lai Ning scored too poorly last time! Your grades were better than Lai Ning. The higher your score, the harder it is to improve. So this is the best time for you guys to get rewards, progress will be slower in the future." Nie Qingzhou said earnestly.
Zheng Peiqi was poking at her food beside them. The more she heard them talk, the more sad she looked. She said, "Can we not talk about exams while eating? It ruins the appetite."
Zhang Yukun wondered, "Aigoo, even good students worry about exams?"
"Why wouldn't I? My dad will scold me if I regress." Zheng Peiqi shook her head. The blue butterfly bow behind her head swung like two ears. She turned to Xia Yi and said, "Xia Yi, I didn't understand the math teacher's explanation for the last question today. Can you explain it to me when we get back?"
Xia Yi's chopsticks paused, and she replied, "Sure."
Nie Qingzhou smiled and nudged Xia Yi's elbow - even in such cold weather, she still rolled up her sleeves, exposing the skin to the air, which looked oddly cold. Xia Yi turned to look at Nie Qingzhou. He stopped talking about exams and instead said, "Is your grandma's business not doing well recently?"
Xia Yi nodded. Yang Feng's harassment still had some impact.
"Tell grandma not to worry. We'll figure out ways to handle the shop's business." Nie Qingzhou leaned back, crossing his arms. "Finals will be over soon, then it'll be the Spring Festival rush. Every family will be buying New Year goods. Why not take this chance to have grandma do a promotion too? We can stock up on good liquor and cigarettes, offer a small discount, and attract more customers. People all have a herd mentality; once there are more customers, they'll forget about the earlier incident."
As soon as Zhang Yukun heard this, he got excited and said with enthusiasm, "Hey hey hey, you guys have to let me join in on this! My family owns a restaurant, and I know where to get good cigarettes and alcohol. I can definitely help you get them at the knockdown price!"
"My family has an electric tricycle! I can use it to transport the goods with you!" Lai Ning also eagerly offered.
Just as Xia Yi was about to say something, Zhang Yukun preempted her, "Teacher Xia, you've explained so many problems to Lai Ning and me, now we can be considered friends right? Don't ever refuse us."
Nie Qingzhou looked at Xia Yi. She hesitated for a moment, then nodded, "Okay, thank you."
"You're welcome! Sao...pei!Yi-jie is too polite!" [sǎo - sister in law, jiě - older sister]
Zheng Peiqi looked between Zhang Yukun and Lai Ning, quickly saying, "What about me? What can I do?"
"You're a girl, so you don't have to do these heavy tasks. Just come and support Xia Yi's store when the time comes." Zhang Yukun waved his hand dismissively.
Zheng Peiqi puffed up her cheeks, seeming a little unhappy to be excluded from the group activity. Seeing this, Nie Qingzhou picked up the plastic bag beside him and handed it to Xia Yi.
"I prepared some snacks to celebrate my return to class. I can't finish them all, so you guys take them back to eat."
"Don't you like snacks?" Xia Yi didn't take it.
Nie Qingzhou whispered, "I kept some for myself. It's enough for me. You guys can have the rest."
Only then did Xia Yi take the plastic bag and pass it to Zheng Peiqi. Zheng Peiqi took a look and softly exclaimed "wow". The bag contained all kinds of chips, candies, even spicy sticks. Zheng Peiqi asked, "Xia Yi, what do you like to eat?"
Xia Yi looked through it and took out five lollipops.
"Lollipop? I like the Lychee flavor of Zhenzhi bang. What flavor do you like?" Zheng Peiqi also took out two lollipops.
Xia Yi held up the brown lollipop. "Alpenliebe, cola flavored."
Having said that, she passed the strawberry flavored lollipop in her other hand to Nie Qingzhou. Nie Qingzhou took it from her hand, smiling as he lowered his head to softly whisper something to Xia Yi. Xia Yi nodded in response, her lips curving up slightly.
Zheng Peiqi always felt Xia Yi was a little different around Nie Qingzhou. She seemed much more relaxed. Just now when Nie Qingzhou accidentally touched her arm, Xia Yi didn't avoid him either. There seemed to be a unique magnetic field between them, but it didn't seem like they were dating.
Zheng Peiqi thought enviously, when would she be able to be so close to Xia Yi?
Nie Qingzhou had missed half a month of classes, but there was still a long line of people looking for his help during the evening self-study session. Zhang Yukun even made him a tutoring number ticket - only giving out 5 slots per study session. Of course, Zhang Yukun and Lai Ning could cut in line to ask questions anytime.
Xia Yi attended her own classes during the evening self-study session, occasionally glancing at the opposite side. She often saw someone standing in front of Nie Qingzhou's seat while he sat in his chair, eating snacks while rocking the chair. Sometimes, he would lower his head to look at the questions, and other times, he would raise his head to speak to the person beside him, gesturing with his hands, displaying great patience.
Just like an old Chinese medicine doctor seeing patients who had made appointments.
After watching for a while, Xia Yi felt that her brain, which had been operating continuously, got a moment of relaxation, and then she turned back to listen to the teacher.
If Nie Qingzhou is to teach classes, he would probably be an even better teacher.
Xia Yi suddenly thought this way.
Missing half a month of classes didn't affect Nie Qingzhou's learning ability or progress, but it did affect his ability to control his marks.
He accidentally scored first in his grade again.
When the results were posted, everyone crowded around the bulletin board. This time, Nie Qingzhou could openly stand beside Xia Yi. The five of them waited with different moods, exhaling white mist in the cold wind, resembling five kettles boiling water over charcoal fires.
As the list was put up, they all boiled over, squeaking and chattering noisily.
"Damn! Zhou-ge is first again! Xia Yi second! That Big Goose is only third, hahaha, the top student can't even compare to our Zhou-ge who missed half a month of classes!" Zhang Yukun shouted.
Nie Qingzhou and Xia Yi didn't show ecstatic expressions. They both looked towards Wen Zhong in the crowd, whose face was as white as his shirt collar. He clenched his fists, glanced at Nie Qingzhou and Xia Yi, then turned and left in a hurry.
Nie Qingzhou lowered his head worriedly and whispered to Xia Yi, "Wen Zhong didn't get first in both the midterms or finals. His parents won't beat him, right?"
Xia Yi looked up at him. "They might."
"..."
Is Wen Zhong's family really that scary? Nie Qingzhou was muttering in his heart when he heard a loud shout beside him.
"Oh my god, I got 537! Zhou-ge, I got 537! I've really improved by more than 150 ranks! I'm so awesome!" Zhang Yukun jumped up, cheering excitedly.
Lai Ning looked at the rankings excitedly. "I… I'm 621! Zhou-ge I got 621! I really improved over 200 ranks. I, I... My mom will be so happy."
"Phew, that was close. I'm 32nd, improved by two ranks compared to last time. My dad probably won't scold me..." Zheng Peiqi let out a sigh of relief, grabbing Xia Yi's sleeve and shaking it.
Zhang Yukun jumped in front of everyone, waving his arms. "Lai Ning and I are treating everyone for lunch today! Thanks to Zhou-ge and Xia Laoshi! Fairy Zheng is also coming along!"
Zheng Peiqi was annoyed, "Shut up, who are you calling a fairy?"
Zhang Yukun raised his voice to a falsetto. "Of course, whoever agrees is a fairy!"
Zheng Peiqi leapt up, "I didn't talk like that!"
She chased Zhang Yukun with Lai Ning as the center. Zhang Yukun pushed Lai Ning and laughed as he ran ahead. "Hurry, hurry, let's go to the backstreet for lunch!"
Lai Ning followed, and Zheng Peiqi chased after them, running from the shadows of the teaching building into the sunlight. The Chinese parasol trees on both sides of the road had already shed all their leaves. Nie Qingzhou and Xia Yi walked side by side on the leaf-strewn path. Amidst the noisy crowd around them, Nie Qingzhou leaned closer to Xia Yi and whispered, "Seems like Zheng Peiqi isn't as bothered by others commenting on her voice anymore?"
"When you weren't here, Zhang Yukun used to tease her every day, then coax her afterward," Xia Yi said lightly. "She's probably become numb to it by now."
"..."
Nie Qingzhou thought, so this is desensitization therapy, huh.