When the evening self-study class was over, Xia Yi didn't see Nie Qingzhou's figure in the remote bicycle shed.
A few bikes were scattered sparsely inside, the lights flickering unsteadily, giving the place a desolate air.
Xia Yi stood there for a moment, lost in thought, before walking to her bike. Unlocking it, she pushed it slowly away from the school. She thought, Nie Qingzhou clearly promised to wait for me. He's not one to break a promise, so why isn't he here?
Holding this question in her heart, Xia Yi rode away from school, stirring a small breeze. With the arrival of spring, Changchuan gradually emitted the fragrance of various flowers and the smell of growing trees.
In the days without Nie Qingzhou, she became increasingly familiar with every blade of grass, every tree, and every house on this road. Thirty more meters, turn right at the end of the road, and you'll see tall Paulownia trees on both sides. In this season, they bloomed with layers upon layers of white flowers, just like clusters of clouds hanging on the branches.
As she was thinking this, she turned the corner. As expected, Paulownia trees in full bloom stood on both sides of the road, stretching endlessly into the distance. Bathed in the yellow glow of the streetlights, even their petals seemed to take on a golden hue.
Unlike usual, a person stood under the first streetlight with a bicycle parked beside them.
Xia Yi froze and braked sharply to stop the bicycle.
The boy had neat, short hair and wore a blue and white school uniform. Two flower petals fell on top of his head. He looked a little fierce when he didn't smile, but when he did, it was pure gentleness. He walked towards her.
"Someone in school saw me waiting for you at the bike shed, so I changed the location today." He paused and asked with a hint of hesitation and nervousness in his voice. "What did you want to tell me? What happened?"
Xia Yi looked at him silently, the street lights reflected in her dark eyes. After a moment, she said, "You said before… if I ever need help, I must remember to find you."
Nie Qingzhou was stunned, his expression turned serious, and he said firmly, "Yes."
Lowering her head, she took out her phone and showed him a text message. "Then… can you accompany me to see someone on Sunday?"
Nie Qingzhou looked down at Xia Yi's phone screen, and asked in confusion. "Who is this?"
"My mom," Xia Yi said softly. "She's back in Changchuan."
"...What?" Nie Qingzhou was surprised.
They pushed their bicycles, slowly walking along the road home. The sound of the sea tide drifted in from afar. Xia Yi's shoulder-length hair, held back by a clip, fluttered less freely than usual.
Nie Qingzhou asked carefully, "When did Auntie contact you? Did she say anything?"
"Last night."
After a pause, Xia Yi continued, "An unknown number called me. When I answered, the person on the other end just kept crying, saying they wanted to see me. It was my mom's voice."
"Did you tell Grandma or Xiaoyan about this?"
"Not yet."
The question came to an end here. Under the Paulownia trees, the two climbed the sloping road in silence, as if walking down a corridor with a white ceiling. Nie Qingzhou let out a restrained sigh as he said, "What do you think Auntie wants to talk to you about?"
Xia Yi shook her head.
"Are you a little nervous?"
Xia Yi remained silent, neither agreeing or disagreeing.
Nie Qingzhou wanted to reach out and touch her head, but he held back. He whispered, "It's okay, I'm here."
A few days later, Nie Qingzhou met Xia Yi's mother for the first time. This was the woman his aunt had described as the most beautiful teacher in the entire school, the mother who had left Xia Yi and Xia Yan behind – Jiang Yuanyuan.
Nie Qingzhou recognized her instantly based on the photo he had seen on Xia Yi's phone. In the four years since she left Changchuan, she seemed to have lived well; her clothes and complexion were both excellent.
She sat by the window at the very end of the Starbucks. Her long, brown hair cascaded in waves down her back. She wore a well-tailored, pure white woolen coat, pearl earrings, and a delicate wrist watch with a red leather strap. She was very beautiful and elegant.
She was in her forties but looked only in her early thirties. Resting her chin on one hand and holding a coffee cup in the other, her expression held a mix of anxiety and an innocence that didn't match her age.
Upon seeing Jiang Yuanyuan, Xia Yi paused and took a deep breath.
Then, with steady steps, she walked towards her. Jiang Yuanyuan froze at the sight of Xia Yi, her eyes welled up with tears. She stood up and waved to her.
Xia Yi introduced Nie Qingzhou as her classmate, explaining that she had asked him to come along.
Jiang Yuanyuan paid no attention to Nie Qingzhou. As soon as Xia Yi sat down, she leaned forward and held her hand, choking back sobs. "Xia Xia, Xia Xia, you've grown so much. Why did you cut your hair? You've also lost weight… Is Grandma treating you well? Is Xiaoyan okay? Does he listen to you?"
Xia Yi let Jiang Yuanyuan hold her hand. Compared to her mother's excitement, she appeared calm, even a little distant.
"Grandma is very good to me. Xiaoyan is now in the first grade of junior high school and is about the same height as me. Now he listens to me too." She replied.
Jiang Yuanyuan dabbed at her tears with a tissue. Even her crying was restrained and gentle, not smudging her makeup. Between tears and a shaky smile, she said, "That's good, that's good. It's been four years without realizing it, Xia Xia… do you… do you miss Mom?"
Xia Yi lowered her eyes. She was silent for a while and did not answer Jiang Yuanyuan's question.
"Mom, why are you back?"
Disappointment flickered across Jiang Yuanyuan's face, but her eyes quickly lit up again. "Mom came back this time to take you away."
Jiang Yuanyuan was getting remarried.
Her fiancé was around her age, also a businessman with a good financial background. They planned to immigrate to the United States after getting married.
"You've suffered these past few years. When we go to America, Mom will let you live in a big house, go to the best music school, and live a life a hundred times better than now. You won't have to worry about anything," Jiang Yuanyuan said earnestly.
This sudden invitation stunned Xia Yi. She looked into Jiang Yuanyuan's eyes and, after a moment, asked, "Then… what about Xiaoyan and Grandma?"
An awkward expression crossed Jiang Yuanyuan's face. "… my fiancé and I discussed it for a long time. He's not confident about being a stepfather to two children. One child is manageable."
Xia Yi understood Jiang Yuanyuan's implication.
"So, it's just me going with you?"
After a pause, Xia Yi continued, "Leaving without telling them, secretly, just like when you left?"
Jiang Yuanyuan panicked, shaking her head. "No, no, Mom will definitely discuss it with them again, give Xiaoyan and Grandma living expenses. I'll also handle your school transfer and everything. Mom just wanted to ask for your opinion first. What Mom did back then… there were reasons. Don't blame Mom…"
Xia Yi nodded. "I know, you said so back then."
Xia Yi lowered her eyes and looked at Jiang Yuanyuan holding her hand. Her mother's hand was still as fair and smooth as before, and was coated with a layer of shiny nail polish.
Then she raised her eyes and looked at Jiang Yuanyuan seriously.
"Mom, have you missed us all these years? Do you regret it?"
Jiang Yuanyuan froze. She felt that Xia Yi was blaming her, and she had no way to defend herself, so she burst into tears again. She lowered her head in shame, dabbing at her tears with a tissue, and sobbed, "I'm sorry, Mom is sorry…"
Xia Yi simply looked at Jiang Yuanyuan, and didn't seem to blame her. She thought for a moment before saying, "No regrets? Then, you must have lived a very happy life these past few years."
Jiang Yuanyuan cried even harder, only managing to say, "I'm sorry, you must hate Mom. Mom knows, Mom isn't a good mother. You can scold me…"
Xia Yi shook her head. "I let you go. I was afraid that I had made a mistake, afraid that you would regret it if you didn't live well outside. Since you don't regret it, then I must not have done anything wrong back then."
Jiang Yuanyuan looked up in a daze, staring at her taciturn daughter, whom she had never quite understood.
Her daughter said sincerely, "Mom, you are my mother. Your life is also important. I hope you're happy."
These words were like a key, unlocking a flood of chaotic memories.
Jiang Yuanyuan recalled that night at the train station years ago. She thought she had slipped away from everyone unnoticed, but Xia Yi suddenly appeared, grabbed her suitcase and asked her where she was going.
At that time, she was so fragile that her mind completely collapsed when she saw Xia Yi. She knelt down, crying, her words were jumbled and incoherent.
She seemed to keep calling Xia Yi and Xia Yan's nicknames, repeating over and over again how sorry she was.
She said – Mom can't stay, can't take you away, or Mom's life will be ruined, this life will be over.
– It's better to die than live like this! Let Mom go, you don't want to force Mom to die, right?
The lights at the station were very bright, and many people gathered around to watch them, whispering amongst themselves. Xia Yi stood in front of her, looked at her quietly and confusedly for a long time, and then let go of the hand holding the suitcase.
She said seriously, "Mom, don't be afraid, don't cry."
"You go, get on the train, and I'll go back."
Xia Yi said it sincerely, and she did it. Jiang Yuanyuan remembered looking back at Xia Yi as she boarded the train. Xia Yi was twelve years old at the time, wearing a blue floral dress, standing at the ticket gate, waving goodbye to her.
The scene had given her the illusion that she wasn't running away, but leaving with her head held high. As if, if she ever wanted to come back, she could, at any time.
Jiang Yuanyuan had been too distraught that day, and she had always deliberately avoided thinking about it. But occasionally, she would wonder, what was Xia Yi thinking at that time? Why didn't Xia Yi cry, make a fuss, or even blame her?
Years later, seeing her daughter again, it dawned on Jiang Yuanyuan. Xia Yi didn't feel that she was abandoned back then.
She felt that she let her mother go.
Even at such a young age, before worrying about herself, she thought of protecting her mother first.
Protecting her fragile, selfish mother who had always lived for herself.
Jiang Yuanyuan suddenly stood up, walked to Xia Yi's side, and hugged her shoulders. Disregarding her appearance and makeup, she burst into tears. Xia Yi's eyes widened, and she kept her back straight with some stiffness.
"Xia Xia, I… I'm not a good mother… Mom promises to take good care of you in the future. Mom will cherish you more than herself and will never abandon you again."
Xia Yi blinked. She didn't feel particularly moved or pained, just a little helpless. She clumsily patted Jiang Yuanyuan's back.
It was as if the person in her arms wasn't her mother, but just a sad stranger.