Translator's Note: This chapter contains mature themes and suggestive language as part of a fictional play rehearsal. It aims to raise awareness about sexual assault and consent, but reader discretion is advised.
The memory of that night felt like a dream to Qi Xi.
Wearing the red evening gown, she had only shared one dance with Gu Yan. Yet, that single dance felt incredibly long, like a slow-motion film sequence. But it wasn't drawn out or superfluous. Instead, it held a lingering, timeless quality.
Even back in her room, lying in bed with the covers pulled over her face, eyes closed, Qi Xi could still recall every detail of that moment—Gu Yan's focused gaze, his controlled steps, and the perfectly timed movements of the dance.
Qi Xi had never understood Zhao Yiran's enthusiasm for the graduation ball. But after dancing with Gu Yan, she finally understood Zhao Yiran's anticipation. To have a graduation dance with someone like Gu Yan would indeed be a beautiful memory.
Initially, Qi Xi's biggest expectation for the company's annual gala was the raffle where everyone won a prize. She did win a new phone, but the joy of winning wasn't as potent. The most memorable part of the night was that dance and Gu Yan's parting words.
Their conversation took place in Gu Yan's car as he drove her home. Qi Xi was looking at the photos Gu Yan had taken at the party, using her phone to mosaic her face before editing the pictures.
"What are you doing? Is there something wrong with the photos I took?"
Qi Xi answered honestly, "No problem, they look great. They'll be perfect for showcasing the dress."
Gu Yan sounded puzzled, "Showcasing?"
Qi Xi nodded. "Yeah, the dress has served its purpose. I probably won't have many occasions to wear it again. I'm thinking of putting it up for sale on a second-hand platform like Xianyu. If I find a suitable buyer, I'll sell it. It feels like a waste to keep it since it takes up space and I rarely have a chance to wear it. Besides, I can use the money to buy a small home printer."
At the time, Gu Yan didn't say anything. But after he got out of the car to open the door for her, just as they were about to say goodbye, he suddenly spoke.
"I'll buy you the printer."
"Huh?"
Gu Yan pursed his lips. "So you don't have to sell the dress."
"What?"
Qi Xi was even more confused. Gu Yan continued, "Didn't you look beautiful in it? Why sell it? It's not like it's that expensive. If you like it and it suits you, keep it. You bought it for graduation, it's quite sentimental."
Qi Xi was still dazed, but Gu Yan waved her off, urging her to go inside. "Don't just stand there, it's cold. Hurry up."
Qi Xi nodded almost subconsciously. "Oh, okay." She waved back at Gu Yan and entered the building, heading for the elevator.
...
At the time, it hadn't seemed like much. But now, lying in bed, recalling the memory, Qi Xi realized she could vividly remember even the smallest details of Gu Yan's expression as he spoke.
It seemed her memory was exceptionally sharp when it came to anything about Gu Yan.
She felt Gu Yan was very good to her, that he was a truly good person. Thinking back to how she used to see him as a rival due to her own insecurities filled her with shame. Compared to his magnanimous and tolerant nature, her past animosity towards him seemed utterly unfair.
She would definitely be good to Gu Yan in the future, to repay his understanding, gentleness, tolerance, and generosity.
Qi Xi thought about all the things she still planned to do with Gu Yan. Even her busy and ordinary life seemed to hold a glimmer of anticipation.
However, the thought of the girl Gu Yan wanted to confess to at graduation made her reluctant to think further. Burying her head in the warmth of her blankets, she emptied her mind, pushing all thoughts away, and gradually found peace.
Just as she was about to drift off to sleep, the sound of keys turning in the lock reached her ears. Zhao Yiran had finally returned home from work.
With the year coming to an end, Zhao Yiran's court was in a frenzy to close cases. As a judicial assistant, she was naturally caught up in the chaos, and her return home grew later and later each day.
"Ugh! Working at the court is so tough!" Zhao Yiran collapsed onto the sofa, exhausted and full of complaints. "Can you imagine? At nine o'clock at night, I was still at the court calling parties to inform them about court dates, and I got cursed at!"
Qi Xi's drowsiness vanished. She sat up next to Zhao Yiran, curiosity piqued. "Why would they curse at you?"
"He accused me of running a scam. He said everyone knows civil servants work from nine to five, so how could a court be working overtime? He was convinced it was a phone scam and kept asking what kind of court fees I was trying to extort. I called that old man five times, and he hung up every time..."
"Another party was clearly drunk. He started yelling at me the moment I got through."
Zhao Yiran grew more and more frustrated. "Those were the better ones. The worst was a few days ago, our court sentenced a scumbag who had been domestically abusing his ex-wife. Turns out, the jerk's older brother is some kind of thug who kept coming to the court to make trouble. Our presiding judge is a guy, a total gym rat, all muscles. The thug didn't dare mess with him, so he picked on me, the easy target. I don't know how he got my number, but I've been getting harassing calls every day. Even walking home tonight, I was so paranoid, I felt like I was being followed."
Zhao Yiran sighed deeply. "We legal professionals really need to work out more. At least we'd be faster at running away."
Zhao Yiran worked in criminal court, so the parties she dealt with were from all walks of life, mostly involved in violent crimes, often with flawed personalities or unstable emotions.
"Like this thug, he's already been in and out of jail three times for rape and indecent assault. Each time, he treats it like some kind of advanced training, shameless and proud of it. He's become completely desensitized to prison, arrogant as hell. He does whatever he wants without fear, because, well, someone with nothing has nothing to lose."
"The other day, this thug actually threatened to hack me to death with an ax if I didn't change his brother's sentence! I'm not even the presiding judge, what good is threatening me? Besides, the law is sacred, how can we possibly change a verdict because of threats? The law is the law!"
Zhao Yiran's face darkened. "And a leopard can't change its spots. This guy even tried to corner me at the courthouse entrance a few times, trying to get handsy with me. He was clearly just looking for an excuse to harass me. These sex offender thugs are disgusting. I wish we had chemical castration!"
Despite Qi Xi's comforting words, Zhao Yiran continued to vent for a while longer before finally rubbing her tired eyes. "Qi Xi, can you believe it? I worked overtime all weekend, and we still have a backlog of cases. I have to work late every night this week too..."
The two friends exchanged their work woes and discussed some recent noteworthy cases. Finally, Qi Xi yawned and headed to bed.
**
The next morning, Qi Xi woke up on time. She and Gu Yan had booked a private room at a small café to rehearse their lines during their lunch break.
Qi Xi went to the court to deliver some documents in the morning. By the time she arrived at the café at noon, Gu Yan was already there. She knew he was punctual, but she hadn't realized how punctual he truly was. Whether it was a work meeting or something else, he had never once made her wait.
"I've confirmed the script with the lawyer from the Bar Association. You don't have many lines. You just need to cooperate with some actions. For example, after I confess my feelings for you and pester you, you need to reject me ruthlessly. Then, when I try to molest you, you need to fight back with all your might."
Qi Xi pointed to the script, explaining, "Since we've switched the genders, to make the molestation scene believable, I'll have you drink a spiked beverage beforehand. The lawyer said it's a good reminder for the public to never leave their drinks unattended and never accept drinks from strangers or suspicious individuals."
"Okay."
Qi Xi and Gu Yan ran through several scenes. Both had good memories and nailed it almost every time, smoothly setting the stage for the main plot.
However, when they reached the scene where Qi Xi's character confesses to Gu Yan's character, Gu Yan began raising objections.
"Xiao Gang, I've liked you for a long time. Your face, your body, your intelligence—they're all perfectly crafted according to my dream lover standards. So Xiao Gang, we're meant to be. Just give in to me and let me give you children! We'll have two kids in three years!"
Qi Xi recited her lines dutifully. According to the script, Gu Yan was supposed to coldly reject her advances. However...
Gu Yan frowned. "Your lines are too forward. Who confesses like that in real life? That's just asking to be rejected."
"..."
"Change it. At least make it sound less illogical."
Who cared about logic in a public service announcement video? Exaggeration was the point!
But faced with Gu Yan's insistence, Qi Xi had to improvise.
"Xiao Gang, I've actually admired you for a long time. Your character and abilities are truly impressive, exactly the type I adore. I want to be by your side, through thick and thin, through all of life's ups and downs, and grow old with you."
Qi Xi thought Gu Yan would finally let it slide this time, but he called for another take.
He had completely forgotten his own line. He simply stared at Qi Xi, speechless, as if in a trance.
Just as Qi Xi was about to remind him, Gu Yan finally snapped out of it and spoke. But what he said wasn't in the script at all.
"Are you serious?"
Before Qi Xi could respond, he lowered his head and answered his own question. "You're not serious. You don't actually like me."
"Because if you did, you would know what I truly like. You wouldn't just believe those rumors and focus on superficial things." Gu Yan stared into Qi Xi's eyes. "Qi Xi, you don't really like me. You haven't even tried to truly understand me."
Although it was entirely improvised and a departure from the script, the scene could still work. After all, all that mattered was Gu Yan rejecting her. However, Qi Xi felt a flicker of panic in her chest. She pressed her hand against her heart, hoping Gu Yan wouldn't notice its frantic beating.
She knew it was just acting, just Gu Yan improvising for dramatic effect, but she couldn't help but feel flustered and caught off guard. His accusation, even if unintentional, left her feeling inexplicably uneasy and sad.
Feigning composure, Qi Xi cleared her throat. "Gu Yan, you're supposed to say 'Xiao Ya'! Did you get the names mixed up?"
Gu Yan lowered his gaze and apologized sincerely. "I'm sorry, I forgot for a moment and said the wrong name. I'll pay attention from now on."
True to his word, he didn't mix up their names again.
They should have continued with the script, but for some reason, Qi Xi felt inexplicably irritable. It was as if simply looking at Gu Yan's face made it impossible to concentrate.
Just now, when he had called her name, Qi Xi had momentarily forgotten they were only rehearsing. She didn't know who she was putting herself in the shoes of, but at that moment, it felt as if Gu Yan was truly speaking to her, truly accusing her. And that accusation filled her with a strange mix of discomfort and panic.
Had she really not tried to understand Gu Yan properly?
Qi Xi's heart was filled with anxiety and doubt. It was just Gu Yan improvising, yet she began to question herself.
Had she truly failed to get to know the real Gu Yan?
Had she really been completely taken in by the Gu Yan encyclopedia?
From the very beginning, misunderstanding that the love letter at the graduation ceremony was from him, to coming to Jinghe and studying "The Complete Gu Yan" like an appliance manual to get close to him, she felt like she hadn't actually tried to get to know him through personal interaction.
Gu Yan had always been by her side, but Qi Xi hadn't really tried to understand him, instead choosing to believe in rumors and project her own assumptions onto him.
The Gu Yan encyclopedia was, after all, written by someone else. Had that person truly observed Gu Yan that closely, truly understood him? Was everything written in it necessarily true?
What could be faster, more accurate, and more convenient than getting to know Gu Yan herself?
Wasn't the greatest respect one could give another person to understand them firsthand, rather than through the words of others?
Someone like Gu Yan deserved at least that much respect from her.
This realization brought a wave of complex and inexplicable emotions over Qi Xi. Guilt, unease, and something else... like willow catkins floating in the spring breeze, swirling all around. She wanted to escape, but as long as she was breathing, there was no escaping it.
Sometimes, Qi Xi truly wanted to understand Gu Yan. But sometimes, she was afraid to.
She didn't understand what was happening to her.
It was as if the Gu Yan encyclopedia, like an instruction manual, gave her a greater sense of security.
But after a moment of internal struggle, Qi Xi decided to abandon her previous mindset. She wouldn't open the encyclopedia again. She would get to know Gu Yan herself.
After all, she was also curious. Why was she afraid to truly understand him?
**
What was supposed to be a simple rehearsal proved to be more difficult than Qi Xi had anticipated. They only managed to run through the lines during their lunch break. She had no choice but to meet Gu Yan again at the café after work to continue rehearsing.
Once again, Qi Xi was reminded of how mortifying rehearsals could be, especially when physical contact was involved.
She pinned Gu Yan against the wall, attempting a domineering pose. Despite her best efforts to appear powerful and embody the persona of a female thug, their height difference made the whole act look like a child playing pretend.
Being half a head shorter than him, with her shorter arms, it wasn't Gu Yan who felt awkward, but Qi Xi herself.
To maintain the pose, she had to be very close to him. And for the sake of the performance, she couldn't avert her gaze. She had to look directly into his eyes, like a fearless and aggressive bully. Qi Xi, in a moment of improvisation, even added a gesture of lifting his chin with her finger.
At first, her actions were purely professional, focused solely on maximizing the impact of the public service announcement. Without thinking, she struck a flirtatious pose. But the moment her finger touched his skin, she felt a jolt, like an electric shock, and wanted to flee.
But she couldn't. Pulling away would seem too deliberate, too suspicious.
Driven by a stubborn desire to see it through, Qi Xi maintained the pose, keeping Gu Yan seemingly trapped in her grasp, and began to deliver those cringe-worthy lines.
"Xiao Gang, you're the most handsome, kindest, and most innocent man I've ever met."
Qi Xi fought to control her emotions, trying her best to channel the image of a seasoned female gangster. "An innocent man like you walking alone on the streets is unsafe. You're easy prey. I suggest you..."
"Let you prey on me?"
According to the script, Gu Yan's character was supposed to be a pure and innocent young man. Faced with Qi Xi's advances, he should only show fear and shyness, pleading with her to let him go.
Instead, he talked back!
Qi Xi glared at him. "Those weren't your lines!"
Gu Yan remained calm and collected. "Didn't you complain earlier that I was too unresponsive, making it feel like a one-woman show? You told me I could improvise based on the situation."
Qi Xi argued back, "Improvising is fine, but what do you mean by 'prey on you'? How is that appropriate? It's called 'taking you under my wing,' understand? There are still innocent men like you in this day and age, and you're even good-looking and single. Walking down the street is like a thief parading stolen treasure. In this day and age, handsome men are also in danger! What I said is absolutely true!"
She glared at him. "Anyway, stop resisting. Improvise all you want, but stay in character. You can call for help or act weak. Don't be so righteous and composed. It breaks the immersion. I'm working hard to get into character here!"
After repeatedly reminding Gu Yan, Qi Xi cleared her throat and continued. She started reciting her lines again. "...I suggest you find a girl like me to be your protector. As long as you're dating me, no one on this street would dare lay a finger on you. Xiao Gang, you're excellent in every way. I've had my eye on you for a long time. This time, I finally mustered up the courage to confess my feelings to you. I hope we can move things along quickly. How about this, you agree to be with me now, we'll get our marriage license this afternoon, and..."
This time, Gu Yan finally cooperated. He feigned a somewhat unconvincing fear, a hint of amusement flickering in his eyes as he fought to maintain a straight face. He looked at Qi Xi and delivered his line. "Can I refuse?"
Qi Xi ruthlessly denied his request. "No! That word doesn't exist in my, Xiao Ya's, dictionary."
Gu Yan pursed his lips. According to the script, he should have drunk the spiked beverage by now, his body growing weak and his mind foggy, realizing that he couldn't escape his fate tonight.
He was clearly struggling with this part of the plot. Even when it was time to act it out, he still showed resistance. He looked at Qi Xi. "Can we not act this part out... Can we skip this scene? They don't show it like this on TV anymore. When the female lead is about to encounter something unpleasant, they cut away. Even when the male and female leads have their wedding night, they just close the curtains, and the next day, the curtains open, and it's over. Let's just handle this part the same way."
"That won't work. TV shows are fictional, but this is a public service announcement. The lawyer from the Bar Association specifically said that since we've switched the genders, we need to emphasize personal safety awareness. We need to let people know that they should always be careful about what they drink, or there could be serious consequences. To highlight the severity of those consequences, we need to show a brief scene of someone losing their ability to resist after drinking a spiked beverage."
In the previous version of the script, Qi Xi was supposed to drag Gu Yan into the bushes, but first, Gu Yan was too uncooperative, afraid of being seen by others and struggling to explain the situation. Second, after being pushed onto the grass several times during their practice, Gu Yan, with his impeccable logic, argued that it was unrealistic to engage in illegal activities on such prickly grass.
In short, due to the strong objections of Gu Yan, the lead actor, Qi Xi had to revise the script once again.
Now, according to the latest version, the location of the crime had been changed from outdoors to indoors. After Xiao Ya made Xiao Gang drink the spiked beverage, she would push him down right then and there.
There was a long, cushioned sofa in the café's private room. Qi Xi patted the sofa. "Just act a little weak, a little dazed, like you're about to lose consciousness. Then I'll..."
As she spoke, she gave Gu Yan a light push.
She hadn't expected him to actually fall. And because she had been leaning against him, she lost her balance and fell towards him as well.
By the time she realized what was happening, Gu Yan was sprawled on the sofa, with Qi Xi lying on top of him.
This pose... was a little too suggestive.
Qi Xi felt heat creep up her neck, her face burning. She didn't dare look at Gu Yan, scrambling to get up and put some distance between them.
"What was that? How did you fall from such a light push?" she exclaimed, trying to mask her embarrassment.
Gu Yan seemed flustered as well, his face unusually red. His deep voice was a little hoarse. He sat up, moving far away from Qi Xi, looking like a pitiful flower that had just been ravaged by a bully. He eyed her warily, as if afraid she might pounce again.
Then, he glared at her, trying to appear indignant. "Didn't you tell me to act weak? You just drugged me, remember?"
Fine, fine, fine!
Qi Xi's heart was racing. She had no energy to argue with him. Averting her gaze, she wished she could disappear. "Let's just get this scene over with. I've been thinking, we really shouldn't film the crime itself in detail. It's like we're encouraging criminal behavior! So we won't film how I push you down. In the actual shoot, when the camera cuts away, you just lie down on the sofa, and I'll just hover over you in a domineering way and give you a warning, okay?"
Easier said than done.
As instructed, Gu Yan lay flat on the sofa. But just as Qi Xi positioned herself above him, ready to deliver her intimidating lines, he spoke.
"Your hair is tickling my face. It's itchy." He turned his head slightly, as if trying to endure something.
"..." Qi Xi wordlessly tied her hair up.
...
**
After a series of awkward mishaps and adjustments, they finally managed to rehearse most of the scenes, finding a balance between achieving the desired effect and minimizing the awkwardness for the actors.
Qi Xi declared forcefully, "Xiao Gang, you can run, but you can't hide. Tonight, you will be mine!"
According to the script, Gu Yan was supposed to shed two lines of clear tears, clutching his shirt, resigned to his fate, and whimpering for Xiao Ya to have mercy.
Since Gu Yan couldn't cry on cue, Qi Xi decided to help him out with a couple of eye drops.
And so, with "tears" streaming down his face, Gu Yan turned his head slightly, clutched his shirt, and delivered the awkward line with surprising conviction...
"I know I can't escape tonight. But can you at least be gentle with me... and can we at least use protection?"
This line was originally intended to remind the audience that in the face of overwhelming violence, they should prioritize their safety and avoid direct confrontation. If sexual assault was unavoidable, they should try their best to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases.
However, for some reason, hearing Gu Yan say it made Qi Xi's heart skip a beat.
His tone wasn't pitiful at all, but rather firm. Yet, that firmness, coupled with the fake tears glistening on his face, created a strange and alluring contrast. It really did look like he was crying silently. And she had to admit, it was quite captivating.
A handsome man like Gu Yan, shedding tears... it was pitiful, it made one...
It made one want to make him cry even harder!
Qi Xi suddenly felt like she had transformed into the villain. No wonder so many villains enjoyed being cruel! Just look at Gu Yan, with his pitiful, surrendering words, it only served to evoke inappropriate and wicked thoughts.
Get a grip, Qi Xi!