Shi Luoyi found herself in a dilemma. Meeting Bian Lingyu's eyes, she said, "Yesterday, we had too many braziers lit. I need to bathe as well."
Seeing Bian Lingyu silently looking at her, she hastily explained, "Now that the Buye Mountain is shrouded in the spiritual power of various sect masters, we can't use the hot springs anymore. That's why I'm bathing in my room."
Bian Lingyu thought she was urging him to leave and softly replied, "Then I'll step out for a moment."
As he said this, he sat up. After resting for an afternoon, Bian Lingyu's complexion had improved a lot, but he still couldn't walk and needed to use a wheelchair.
It was bedtime, and Shi Luoyi couldn't possibly call Ding Bai to help him. This whole act was meant to test Bian Lingyu's attitude, not to drive him away. She vaguely regretted her choice - if only she had picked something else to test him with. Why did it have to be this? Looking at Bian Lingyu's pale lips, she was worried that moving back and forth would be uncomfortable for him. She had already abandoned her idea of testing him and quickly said, "No need, there's a folding screen. You should rest well, don't move."
She sighed. This kind of thing didn't seem suitable for testing a gentleman. Before she could figure out anything, Bian Lingyu had already taken the initiative to leave the room.
Shi Luoyi didn't intend to avoid him anymore. After all, as she said, under the spiritual power barrier of the masters, they would have to live together anyway. They couldn't avoid each other for everything. Bathing behind a folding screen was better than having him move back and forth when his body had just started recovering.
But when Shi Luoyi moved behind the folding screen and put down the shawl, she remembered something.
The fox spirit had arranged the folding screen too. She had been busy with Buye Mountain affairs during the day and hadn't had time to have it replaced. Shi Luoyi slowly turned her head. In front of her, lifelike fish were playing among lotus leaves. The screen was woven from sky silkworm silk, so it was almost transparent.
From this side, she could vaguely see Bian Lingyu's figure.
"..."
It was her who asked Bian Lingyu to stay. She closed her eyes for a moment, then steeled herself as she undid her sash. As her outer robes fell to the ground, she was left wearing a light pink undergarment which snugly hugged her graceful figure. There wasn't a hint of spring night chill in the room.
This was Shi Luoyi's first time undressing in a room with a man present. She faced away from the screen, no longer daring to look back at Bian Lingyu.
There was a rustling sound from the bed, probably Bian Lingyu was lying back down. Shi Luoyi let out a sigh of relief.
Remembering that Bian Lingyu had used this bathtub earlier in the day, she felt a little uncomfortable. How strange, she thought, why was she so nervous?
The room fell silent, with only the sound of water remaining.
Bian Lingyu faced away from her, his face was still as cold and refined as jade, but his palms were nearly bleeding from how tightly he was clenching them.
He pressed his lips together tightly. The room was filled with a faint mist of warm vapor. In the warm, yellow glow, he struggled to maintain his composure.
He had stopped looking at Shi Luoyi since she began to undress.
Though he couldn't see, he could hear the soft sound of water. He was still a normal man. They had shared an intimate moment before, and he couldn't remain unmoved.
For Shi Luoyi, that incident happened sixty years ago, but for Bian Lingyu, it happened not long ago.
Back then, the girl had been overcome by her inner demons and lost her mind and acted with nothing but violence. She frantically tore open his clothes, while her own robes remained intact. Bian Lingyu didn't want anything to happen between them, so naturally, he didn't touch her clothes or her body. He tried hard to calm Shi Luoyi down, even commanding wooden puppets to form an array to suppress her inner demons.
As the array was about to activate, Bian Lingyu frowned. He was a god after all, exorcizing demons was easy, but all the spells would likely hurt her badly.
If she could no longer cultivate afterward, wouldn't she be devastated?
Unable to bring himself to hurt Shi Luoyi, he stopped at the last moment. But Shi Luoyi, controlled by her inner demons, didn't spare him. She didn't care if either of them got hurt.
The young woman's eyes were full of malice. She reached out to feel his physical changes, raising an eyebrow and smiling mockingly and disdainfully.
Bian Lingyu's ears turned red, half from shame and half from cold anger. After all, even though he wasn't raised in the divine realm, he had inherited a god's legacy. The divine race would never be toyed with like this, especially not by a little demon girl who had strayed from the right path.
But as long as he had a reaction, this could succeed.
In her hatred that day, the words she spoke made Bian Lingyu want to strangle her. He restrained himself, not moving an inch. Shi Luoyi then patted his face, saying, "Bian Lingyu, are you dead? If not, move a little."
After a while, the young woman tilted her head and smiled strangely. "So obedient..."
He hated that moment's Shi Luoyi thoroughly, and he hated himself just as much. A heavy sense of powerlessness spread through his heart, converging into the stifling warmth that filled the room.
Shi Luoyi was still innocently doing some "bad things," but Bian Lingyu could no longer bring himself to hate her freely. He couldn't even get angry at her.
After all, her motives back then were born from disgust and humiliation. Now, it was trust in him. Bian Lingyu knew that since bringing him back from the desolate mountain, she had been sincerely taking care of him.
He closed his eyes and didn't look back.
The stinging in his palms kept him in senses. Fortunately, as long as Shi Luoyi didn't actively push things too far, the coldness and restraint inherent to the divine race wouldn't let him embarrass himself like before.
Shi Luoyi finished bathing quickly.
She sat at the dressing table, drying the damp ends of her hair. The spirit servants came in to clean up the bathtub. Shi Luoyi's mood had settled somewhat, and she decided to have that terrifying folding screen replaced tomorrow. Her cheeks were faintly flushed, unaware if it was from the steamy bath or the current situation of the two of them getting along at the moment. She walked to the cabinet and took out her brocade quilt, still planning to sleep by Bian Lingyu's couch like the night before.
She crouched down, about to spread it out, when Bian Lingyu sat up and said, "Come sleep on the bed."
Shi Luoyi looked up. "Then where will you sleep?"
Bian Lingyu looked down at her. Fresh from her bath, she wore a thin white undergarment, and her long hair was loose. She had a kind of pure beauty.
Her clothes were usually peacock blue, water-cyan, lotus pink, or even orange-red, which was why Bian Qingxuan called her "little peacock."
But in the lamplight, the young woman looking up at him with clear black and white eyes was like a blooming white gardenia.
Bian Lingyu averted his gaze and said, "I'll sleep on the floor."
"How can that work? You're injured and still sick."
"I'm much better now."
They were deadlocked for a while. Seeing his cold but persistent expression, Shi Luoyi paused, then suggested, "How about we both sleep on the bed? It's so big, we can each take half."
Bian Lingyu was silent for a moment, then asked, "Are you sure?"
Shi Luoyi wasn't very sure, but the floor was so cold and hard. She couldn't possibly let Bian Lingyu sleep there. What if his condition worsened by morning? He also didn't seem willing to let her sleep on the floor indefinitely.
"I… I'm sure," she said softly, suppressing her unease. "It's still a long time until summer. Since we're dao companions, it wouldn't be right for one of us to always sleep on the floor. Don't worry, I don't move around in my sleep, and I won't grind my teeth or steal your blanket."
They looked at each other, and Bian Lingyu didn't object further. After all, there wasn't a better solution.
"Then I'll sleep on the inside?" Shi Luoyi asked tentatively.
The outer half was already occupied by Bian Lingyu, leaving only the inner third of the bed.
Bian Lingyu paused, then nodded.
Shi Luoyi put her brocade quilt on the inner part of the bed. Bian Lingyu watched as she stepped over his legs.
The young woman's jade-like feet were snow-white, stepping on the bright red brocade quilt. They weren't even as long as his palm. She moved carefully, afraid of stepping on his legs.
Once past him, she became agile, diving under the covers.
Each had their own quilt. Bian Lingyu also lay down.
Shi Luoyi realized the bed wasn't as big as she had imagined.
If it were just her sleeping alone, it would indeed be very spacious. But Bian Lingyu lay on the other side. With his broad shoulders and narrow waist, though he hadn't deliberately taken up much space and was even accommodating her, their quilts were pressed together. She could even hear Bian Lingyu's breathing.
Except for sleeping with her mother as a child, Shi Luoyi had never shared a bed with anyone.
Tonight, her messy thoughts had hardly stopped. Her throat felt a bit dry as she asked Bian Lingyu, "Then I turn off the lights?"
Bian Lingyu lay flat, closing his eyes. He seemed much calmer than her. "Mm."
Shi Luoyi's hand moved slightly under the quilt, casting a spell. The room fell into darkness.
Shi Luoyi's usual boldness seemed inapplicable at this moment. She closed her eyes, but with a cultivator's keen senses, she could hear not only her own heartbeat but Bian Lingyu's as well.
Shi Luoyi couldn't tell whose was more erratic or louder, or if this was even normal. She opened her eyes, turning her head to look at Bian Lingyu. In the deep of night, she couldn't help but think of that question again: what were Bian Lingyu's true feelings for her?
Relying on the darkness of night and her light movements, she believed Bian Lingyu wouldn't notice, so she looked at him confidently.
The young man had his eyes closed. If one ignored his slightly pale lips, he looked as exquisite and cold as a jade statue.
He was so calm that Shi Luoyi suspected she might be hearing things.
Gradually, the more she looked at this jade statue, the more rapid its breathing seemed to become. But even so, Bian Lingyu still didn't open his eyes. He was as motionless as a still pond.
If Shi Luoyi hadn't stretched out her hand to stir the surface, there wouldn't have been even a ripple on this still water.
Now Shi Luoyi could be certain that Bian Lingyu wasn't asleep either, and that she wasn't imagining things. Seeing him so tense, she oddly felt less nervous herself.
She tried calling out to him. "Bian Lingyu?"
Bian Lingyu opened his eyes but didn't turn to look at her, just staring at the fluttering gauze curtains. Maintaining his current calm and decency had already exhausted all his strength. The young woman's scent and fragrance surrounded him. Though not strong, it filled every breath.
His voice sounded somewhat hoarse in the night. "What is it?"
"Can't you sleep either?"
"Mm."
Shi Luoyi suggested, "Then let's chat for a bit."
"What do you want to talk about?"
I want to talk about whether you have feelings for me. Shi Luoyi swallowed these words and chose a different approach. "Did you really dislike me before?"
It took him a while to answer. "...No."
This surprised Shi Luoyi. She blinked, thinking that given their previous antagonistic relationship and the situation with Bian Qingxuan, he would have particularly disliked her. She didn't expect to receive a negative answer.
"Then if in the future, you're no longer my dao companion, have you ever thought about going down the mountain to find a woman you like and spend your life with her?"
When she asked this question, she pretended to be calm, but her heart was racing.
This time, Bian Lingyu answered almost without hesitation. "I won't."
"Hm?"
Bian Lingyu said, "If you no longer need me as your dao companion, I still won't take a wife."
When he said this, he didn't expect Shi Luoyi to understand. After all, most people wouldn't think that his broken body would still be capable of taking a wife.
But Shi Luoyi had never looked down on him. She just wanted to know the outcome. "Then what if I always need you?"
As soon as these words left her mouth, Bian Lingyu finally turned to look at her.
Shi Luoyi met his gaze, her cheeks felt inexplicably hot. She silently pulled the quilt up a bit higher, covering her reddening face.
Neither of them spoke for a while.
Bian Lingyu never dared to hope that Shi Luoyi would like him. Shi Luoyi had half her small face buried in the quilt, and Bian Lingyu couldn't see her expression clearly. He didn't have long to live anyway, and he had no intention of lying about such matters, so he said, "I will stay on Buye Mountain until I die."
In a place Bian Lingyu couldn't see, Shi Luoyi's ears also began to burn. She silently pulled the quilt up even further, almost entirely hiding in the quilt, so that her voice came out muffled. "Mm, I'm going to sleep now."
Though she unilaterally ended the conversation, Bian Lingyu had no objections. He closed his ash-gray eyes, perfectly still and quiet.
Shi Luoyi said she was going to sleep, but she was clearly wide awake now.
In her past life and this one, no one had ever offered to accompany her for a lifetime. When she died, she was all alone in a ruined temple, with only a pond of blooming lotus flowers.
But in this life, Bian Lingyu would stay with her.
She huddled under the quilt for a while. She was now certain that Bian Lingyu must have some affection for her. If it were out of gratitude, no one in the world would use their entire remaining life accompanying another person.
Shi Luoyi didn't know how deep his feelings were, or when they had begun, but now that she knew, she didn't want to pretend she hadn't noticed.
A mortal's life isn't long. She had already said she would treat him well. If Bian Lingyu's wish was to be her dao companion, it wasn't impossible.
It should... be okay, right? She quite enjoyed being with Bian Lingyu. Sometimes she even found it amusing when he got angry, and Bian Lingyu never caused trouble. Besides, being real dao companions probably wouldn't be much different from how things were now.
Shi Luoyi had never been one to hide things. After tossing and turning a few times, she poked her head out from under the quilt.
Bian Lingyu was much more proper than her, having not moved at all.
Shi Luoyi saw that the clay rabbit was still on the wheelchair. She suddenly remembered how Bian Lingyu wiped away her tears on her birthday.
Looking back now, it seemed many things she had overlooked had become evidence.
She decided to make one last test. If Bian Lingyu became so angry that he wanted to strangle her, she would pretend nothing had happened and won't mention being dao companions again. But what if he didn't get angry and didn't drive her away. She wanted to ask if he wanted her to truly be his dao companion.
Having made up her mind, she lifted her own quilt. Hesitantly, she also pulled back Bian Lingyu's quilt and covered herself with it.
The young man's quilt was cold, just like him. After lying there for so long, he appeared calm as still water. She didn't expect his quilt held no warmth at all.
She trembled slightly, though it was hard to tell if it was from the cold or nervousness.
Bian Lingyu had sensed her approach from the moment she moved closer, but he kept his eyes closed. His palms were now bleeding from how tightly he had been clenching them. All night, Shi Luoyi had been torturing him—first by bathing in the room, then by sharing the bed. She didn't see him as a man, so he could only coldly treat himself as if he were dead.
But now, with this warm bundle slipping under his quilt, he finally couldn't endure it anymore. He turned his head to look at her. "Shi Luoyi, do you know what you're doing?"
He had only been restraining himself, holding back; he wasn't truly dead and feeling nothing.
The moon had come out at some point, its light spilling through the window, dispelling the earlier pitch darkness.
Shi Luoyi tilted her porcelain-white face up to look at him, her arm accidentally brushing against his tense arm. She was nervous too! Seeing that he hadn't strangled her, she mustered her courage, and finished what she wanted to say: "I just thought, if you were in the mortal world, you'd be of marriageable age. If you spend your whole life on Buye Mountain, wouldn't I be wasting your entire life? So I wanted to ask, if you're willing..."
She thought for a moment, then used Bian Lingyu's way of speaking. "If you need it, shall I be your real dao companion?"